Last week we looked at introverts, thought about the environment they function best in, and how we can help them thrive. This week I want to look at extraverts, and consider how we can help them thrive too.
Extraverts primarily gain their energy from the world outside them, so need to engage with it. Unlike introverts, being alone and reflecting will make them uncomfortable and they are much happier being involved with people, often in large groups. Being naturally gregarious, they are confident at meeting strangers, building bridges and enjoying diversity, and they can quickly make connections in a new culture and engage effectively with people.
Extraverts appear to be in majority, although possibly it only looks that way because they are more likely to have the opportunity to shape the culture of their church or agency by being vocal and engaging with others. They are generally more comfortable being in groups, because they recharge their batteries in the company of others. They will love events, and are often involved in organising things. So how can we organise things to help them thrive?
- Solitude and silence will make extraverts feel uncomfortable, and if left alone, for instance if they are ill or working in an isolated location, they will not be happy until they are around people, so they may need planned interactive support.
- Many extraverts have attractive and magnetic personalities which will draw others into relationship with them. So they are good at getting people involved and welcoming newcomers. The downside of this is that the people they draw into the community can bond to them individually rather than the group as a whole, or individuals within it, so when that mission worker moves on, their connections may lose interest in the group and drift off.
- Extraverts enjoy working where there are other people, particularly if they can talk about things. So an open-plan office, or a coffee shop, will be ideal. Home alone will not be!
- Since extraverts thrive in community, many of them will need to be in a place where they can find it, so they are not ideally suited to a pioneering situation where they will not have like-minded people around them. Though some may be able to thrive on the relationships they build with local people, others will struggle with loneliness and isolation if there are no people nearby who speak their heart language or share their faith.
- Extraverts deal with stress in a group. So after a hard week they are looking around for someone to socialise with. If all their friends are otherwise engaged, their stress will be compounded by the lack of company.
- Extraverts might also tend to do things a bit last minute, so if they do ring people up and invite them for dinner, it might be at a few hours’ notice. If people already have other plans and are unwilling to change them, the extravert may well feel undervalued or even rejected.
- Although extraverts are excited by new ideas and love to plan new projects or events, they may not actually be the best at planning the details, so it really helps them to try to put people alongside them who understand that and can plan the practical details without raining on the extravert’s parade.
- Extraverts may need reinforcement and recognition, so if nobody is complimenting or affirming them, they are probably feeling a bit deflated and under-appreciated.
- They probably need to think out loud, so they won’t start talking with a finished idea. So don’t shut them down by saying “That won’t work” but give them time to think their ideas through. Suck plans out of them by asking questions like “How is that going to work in practice?”
- Extraverts are conference people and will get a huge buzz from meeting large numbers of people. So make sure they get the opportunity to do this regularly.
Contrary to the opinion of some introverts, extraverts are not a force of nature bringing noise and disruption to everything, and they have many skills and gifts to bring to the team. What the mission world needs is not all-extravert teams or dispersed introverts, but both in a good balance where they fully appreciate each others’ needs and abilities and are able to thrive together. I’m a strong introvert, but some of my best working partnerships have been with extraverts, as together we can play to each other’s strengths.
A better understanding of the dynamics of introversion/extraversion can be achieved through individuals and groups doing workshops based on the Myers Briggs or other similar personality indicators.
First published at www.syzygy.org.uk on 4 March 2019.
The views expressed in this blog post are personal to the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the GC network.